In Actual Fact

The German word for “dentist” is “Zahnarzt”, literally “tooth doctor”. If however, you ever asked me to translate the word “Zahnarzt” back into English I’d tell you it was “evil, greedy, money-grabbing bastard”.
I’ve never, as some, been scared of dentists, in fact I actually look forward to it in a strange kind of way. This is perhaps a result of having a stunningly attractive young dentist during my teenage years - no I didn’t write diary entries with the words “her latex-clad fingers, expertly probed past my moist lips”, I was 14 and the vocabulary of my peer group when describing anything about an attractive member of the opposite sex consisted entirely of “I’d give ‘er one”. Thankfully, we’ve all matured a little and now we can grunt and make obscene gestures too.
Anyway, let’s just say I didn’t need to be reminded to go for a check up every 6 months, and that’s continued to this day, even though I now have an older, considerably less attractive German dentist. What scares the hell out of me is the price. During a recent bout of flossing (alone, sadly) I managed to pull out a filling. I’m not sure of the exact cost yet, but I doubt I’ll be going on holiday this year.
German Word For Today: “Bohrmaschinen” - Drills
Song playing as this was published: The Specials “Rudi, A Message to You”