Women. As the cliché says - you can’t live with them and you can’t…. Well okay, you can live with them, but you’re never going to agree that the bathroom needs to be cleaned *that* often. You might also have difficulties compromising over how many people you’re allowed to sleep with if you’re in a monogomous relationship. Especially if she thinks that that number is any higher than 1.
And what will your male friends say?
“Women troubles, eh? We’ll soon sort that out..”
That, after all, is what friends are for. In order to “get your mind off problems with girls”, they’ll set you up on a blind date. With one of those female humans. Splendid.
Of course, it’d be rude not to go, and when you meet her you’ll be pleasantly surprised. She’s very slim, attractive and seems charming and witty (in a German kind of way). You also discover her exact weight - which is 100g less than yesterday - and not very much at all. In fact, she’ll talk about her weight almost all the time, except for the occasions when she runs to the bathroom when you’ll get a chance to wonder whether one spells Essstörung with “ßs” or 3 s’s after one another. You certainly won’t want to ask about the 5 not-really-healed parallel wounds on her wrist, however, the next time you see your mate, you’ll ask him why on earth he set you up with a desperate, needy, emotionally vulnerable woman with an overwhelming need to feel wanted?
“Guaranteed shag”, he’ll tell you.
Men. I’m glad I’m not having a monogamous relationship with one of them, either.
German Word For Today: “Essstörung” - Eating disorder.
Song playing as this was published: Ben Folds “There’s Always Someone Cooler Than You”
“Guaranteed shag”
something which, up to now, I still cannot understand. Why oh why would anyone want to go to bed (there’s a prude in the house! hehe) with someone you are not even attracted to?!
AnP: It sounds to me like you don’t know the kind of men that I meet for a drink after playing football - I’d recommend keeping it that way