After reading a disturbing amount of literature during my hospital stay and in the time afterwards, I took a break from reading for a while. I’ve found myself needing to consume something papery of late though. 
The dear Mr. Stairs didn’t exactly recommend this book, he merely stated that some of my posts/e-mails reminded him of certain aspects of it – I’m sure it must be because the protagonist is described as a charming, sophisticated Englishman on the rear cover, rather than his point that the climax is disappointing and unfulfilling, and he’d been talking to an ex-girlfriend of mine. In the end (after he’d mentioned it twice) I ordered it from amazon – the US version, obviously – the paper quality is so much better – even if they insist upon spelling colour, paedophile and a whole slew of other words incorrectly. By the time I got to the third page and read this exchange regarding the consumption of alcohol in the Tate Modern:
“That’s a 1990 Chambertin Clos de Bèze you’ve got locked up in there like a . . . like a common Chianti. Bought by me – especially for you, my dear Jasper, on this, the occasion of your twenty-ninth birthday. How could they stop us drinking it? They wouldn’t dare.”
I mimicked his ridiculous manner: “As well you know, my dear William, that bottle needs opening for at least two hours before we could even go near it. It’s my wine now and I forbid you to molest it before it’s had a chance to develop. Look at you, you’re slathering like a pedophile.”
I was amused and obviously I sat myself down with the intention of reading the book in one sitting. Two pages later, he’s trying to seduce Cécile. Cécile! A woman with “fetching Mediterranean looks and bobbed, black hair”, I was beginning to see that Stairs wasn’t necessarily referring to the fact that I’d said that I enjoy calligraphy myself.
The book is wonderful; you may not find the characters believable, but I certainly did and I vigorously gobbled up the first 27 chapters of the novel. They’re a perfect self-contained work, the kind that makes one want to immediately return and re-read the book to examine all the plot twists, being deliciously, almost reluctantly built towards, that one possibly missed the first time around. The problem is that there are 3 more chapters tagged on to the end, which do nothing except to cheapen the work. If I used the kind of analysis that gained me a grade E at GCSE English Literature (certified proof that I cannot read) I would say that they are utter rubbish. Being serious, they’re completely unnecessary and don’t fit to the intelligence of the rest of the book at all. I wondered why his editor allowed him to leave them in, before coming to the conclusion that his editor probably made him tag them on, to make the book, oh I don’t know, more accessible or something. I can’t think of any other explanation. If you do purchase it, I insist that you remove the final 3 chapters and flush them down the toilet – no one will be in the least offended.
German Phrase For Today: “Tinte” - Ink
Song playing as this was published: Bally Sagoo “Noorie”
It’s a phenomenon I see more and more of…in film especially. Look at LOTR ROTK, six endings shot in a style UTTERLY INCONGRUOUS with the design with pacing of the rest of the trilogy. Look at Enemy at the Gates, which resurrects the apparently dead Rachel Weisz, thereby COMPLETELY UNDERMINING the entire philsophical thrust of a hitherto almost perfect film. I don’t even need to mention AI and Vanilla Sky do I? You all know what I mean.
An E? really? How? GSCE english is for monkeys. Are you a monkey? I bet you’re a bonobo.
What is it with you and asking if I’m some animal starting with the letter “m”? Although we are moving up the food chain from invertebrates I suppose…. Actually it wa English Lit and was 100% coursework, i.e. it was marked by my teacher, a man I patently despised, and he reciprocated fully and eagerly. I remember, when being asked to stand and give an oral critique of a poem saying that “It’s crap! Just like the standard of teaching in this class.”
To be honest, I’m surprised I even got an E…. But I’d like to apologise to Seamus Heaney
Dude, no wonder you got an E, bonobo begins with B, not M.
Actually, that was rather exactly how I got a D in French Linguistics. The woman was senile, and when I told her she was factually wrong (I’m a bit of a know-it-all, in case you hadn’t noticed from my wide knowledge of the animal kingdom) she started failing me, so I gave up.
“I’m a bit of a know-it-all, in case you hadn’t noticed from my wide knowledge of the animal kingdom” Okay, I admit defeat, Bonobo begins with B and Monkey and Mollusc with M, I see, I see….
Okay, but as a serious point - isn’t it amazing how the quality of a teacher can alter students’ performance - not just in what they teach them, but the enthusiasm they impart for the subject?
People, please. I got an “E” in English General and in English Literature during my A-levels. How the hell that happened, I’ll never know, but given that I studied Literature at university, and was going to get my PhD in it, I’m thinking that the GCEs are no longer reliable indicators of academic ability.
Sin: haha, touche. I know, I know, I am more and more convinced the more exams I take that few exams actually examine what you think or whether you have good answers, they just want to know the answers THEY believe are right. The driving theory test being a supreme example.
You had low GCSE gradesl? That’s wonderful. Here I was thinking that your brain was faultless (excluding biblical topics). Still I can’t really comment, my education was so bad that I couldn’t even spell GCSE ’til I was twenty.
This comment has been edited - Devon Boy ddn’t even manage to add his grass-chewing, clotted-cream covered chinned name to it. BTW Good to speak to you last night mate. October sounds good to me….
“Okay, but as a serious point - isn’t it amazing how the quality of a teacher can alter students’ performance - not just in what they teach them, but the enthusiasm they impart for the subject? ” Not so much amazing, more everybody knows that. But did you ever hear of a teacher payment scheme that was remotely capable of identifying and rewarding such teachers?
I’m glad to see that you enjoyed the book. And that we concur on the ending; I did wonder whether that was the reason for it — the editor, I mean — but I guess we’ll never know. That is [edward docx] unless [edward docx] we can get the author [edward docx] to pay attention to this [edward docx] thread and answer us [edward docx] in person. Oh, I do need to get out more. Enjoy the rest of the weekend!
i figured early on that grades didn’t matter and never bothered studying for them. my goal was always to get a ‘pass’ so that i could move on to the next semester/class and get the whole thing over with!
i find it funny that the ultra-geeky, haughty first benchers, who thought they were too damn good for the world cause they got great grades have similar jobs (or worse), and in fact, the ‘bad’ students in uni are probably doing better because they were more street smart and concentrated on the superficial aspects (like presentation/looks/confidence), which seem to count more in interviews/jobs than your mark sheets or transcripts.