She looked about sixty or so years old, respectably dressed, although with a somewhat-too-large St. Christopher medallion type thing hanging from her neck, lying on the ground with blood pouring from her face. As I approached her, a couple of people walked past her in the opposite direction, they glanced at her, but didn’t stop.
As I drew level with her I halted. Had she been mugged or worse? Her skirt was around her ankles and her white jacket was covered in blood.
I had that quick mental argument – “do I want to get involved in this?” but the point score, the emotional reward of helping battered old ladies is like playing scrabble and holding the letters Q, I and Z and watching the preceding player place a “U” in just the right place to get a triple letter and triple word bonus.
I don’t know whether it’s just a British thing, but I, of course, asked the bleeding elderly woman on the ground in a vaguely consoling voice “Are you alright?”
I mean, what a stupid question. I’ve had years of training in first aid / response and what happens? I immediately revert to type. No doubt if I’d been nearer home I would have said, “a good cup of tea and you’ll be right as rain, dear”.
“I just need a minute” she said, blood pouring from her nose, before adding, “I have my ID card”.
Ignoring this I asked if she’d been attacked.
“I think I fell over”, she said, followed by “Never again” and repeated it four times for extra emphasis.
Eventually, I was able to ascertain her name, address, that her car was parked nearby and that no one could come to pick her up. I also got my first waft of alcohol. She didn’t smell like a drunk – she smelt like a smoker – as far as drinking went, she smelt like one of those great aunts who never get drunk, they just get tipsy on sweet sherry at wedding parties before the music is turned up too loud for the “young ‘uns” and they leave at 8 p.m.
After about 10 minutes she gave me her car keys and as her address was near enough, I walked her to a taxi stand, explained what had happened and made sure she had enough cash to get her home (I put the keys back in her bag, but a woman who doesn’t notice that her dress is around her ankles probably shouldn’t be driving).
Afterwards I got to thinking (ta da! Thank you! Normally I save that kind of thing for party tricks) – Did I do the right thing? I have no idea. Should I have called the police / an ambulance? I hope not. I’m sure there are laws about how one should behave in such situations. If I fall foul of them I guess the first one should be to cross to the other side of the street and ignore…..
For whatever it’s worth, I believe you did the absolutely right and best thing.
If I were her daughter, neice, or sister I would thank you profusely. Since I’m simply a woman who knows what it’s like to live in a self-absorbed and sometimes uncaring big city I will just say thanks.
However, I too have the same doubts and thoughts whenever I become involved in similar situations.
I also think you did the right thing. If she weren’t able to speak or move then an ambulance or the police would have been in order, but as she was able to walk and talk I don’t think they needed to be called.
I agree wholeheartedly with the other commenter. If I were her daughter I would thank you profusely.
Thanks for the comments, it was an unusual story - I wrote it down so that when I woke up today I wouldn’t have to remember whether I’d dreamed it or not - very strange.
Getting involved is the right thing to do, unless the situation is clearly dangerous, such as there being several drunk people covered in blood lying around and in possession of knives or guns, say. But you helped a damsel in distress. Yes, so she was slaughtered, but we mustn’t give up on people down on their luck. And she’ll get a rush of thankfulness today - if she can remember! - thinking of the nice young man who helped get her home. As a teenager, my cousin and I once found a man either drunk or dead or collapsed on the street. We nudged to check for signs of life and he let out a giant-from-Jack-and-the-beanstalk roar and chased after us, but we were faster than him, and had the advantage of being able to move in a straight line, so even that wasn’t dangerous, really. Sorry for the waffle. Yes, it’s the right thing to do, what you did.
You did the right thing. No doubt.
But on a personal note: “a good cup of tea and you’ll be right as rain, dear”. If I ever actually heard you speak our common mother tongue, it would shock the shit out of me.
A cup of tea would just make me want to throw something at you, since I can’t abide the stuff. Which of course, means that as far as you’re concerned, I’d be fine.
I’d assume, btw, that you’re OK to have helped her out as far as you did. As long as you didn’t go any further than what you’ve described, you’re on safe legal grounds. I think.
You did the right thing. I don’t understand all this nonsense above about tea. It’s one of the first things you learn on English first aid courses that a good, strong cup of tea cures most aliments. That is of course if the victim is English. Giving a strong cup of tea to Johnny Foriegner may not work at all. Perhaps the University of Bath should carry out a study.
Absolutely right. I can’t abide those cowards who just pass by and pretend they’re in a hurry or something.
I’ve helped out in such situations several times. Once there was a rather large and incapable Irish Catholic woman who had been drinking, due to the shame of her son getting divorced. She spilt out the whole story to me, as I helped her to a phone box to call a relative to come and pick her up. I stayed with her until the relative turned up, and she told me all her woes, the poor woman.
On another occasion I saw a pensioner lying face down on the pavement, with people passing by. It was an extremely windy day, and I just thought he’d need a hand up. But as I got nearer I could see he was gasping for breath and turning a strange colour. I dived into a nearby hotel and got them to call an ambulance. I stayed with the guy until the paramedics came, but later the police informed me that he’d died from a heart attack.
If somebody had called the ambulance sooner, he might well have lived.
On a couple of occasions I’ve soon homeless-looking people lying or sitting on the pavement and looking incapable in some way or other. I’ve always kept my distance and asked them if they need any help. Usually they say no, but I could not stand to be one of those bastards who just pass by as if nothing was happening.
We do live in a society after all, not a jungle, and we need to care for each other, especially in the moments of extreme need.
Going through first aid training is one thing, approaching an injured total stranger is another. I’ve been through about three or four situations like the one described. The first time I was of absolutely no help whatsoever. I was just standing there with myriads of synapses leading to zero action. Thankfully other people were present.
The last time, an eldery woman who just returned from a doctor’s visit, fell on the stairs of the train station, bleeding profusely from her head. We sat her on a bench, a colleague (a physician) patched her up with a first aid kit and a station staff member called an ambulance. The lady was taken to the very same hospital she had just left half an hour before.
Once you have done this a few times, you react much quicker, overcome inhibitions and make better judgements.
Well done, AF,
JCS
5 years ago, I had a rollerblading accident. While my then boyfriend went back home to get the car, I sat on the side, crying and all bloodied while everyone else (lots of people walking and rollerblading) just pretended that nothign was wrong. Not even one person asked if they could help me.
A couple of years ago, several Germans were asking themselves what was wrong with their society when a girl was raped (at a park) while passerbys just let it happen.
With all that in mind, I am just glad to know that there are still people like you. It’s a pity how most Germans (respect and) value theirs (and others’) privacy so much (yes, I am being nice here) that they’d rather ignore people who really needs help.
I think it should be a crime to ignore a person in distress. And a crime also to ignore (i.e., fail to report) a crime going on! I believe that’s the law in France.
First Quick Reply: In retrospect I should have taken the money she offered me to get my jacket dry cleaned. No, a more serious point and one which piqued my conscience afterwards is in reply to Sandy (No. 8 ). I stopped because she was well-dressed and obviously not a homeless drunk. I helped according to social status. If other people think like me, I’m never “just nipping down to the bakers” unshaven again. Just in case I end up needing (and let’s be honest, with me it’s entirely feasible) emergency medical attention.