Every time I travel to the UK, I buy lots of the wondrous edible products which have helped make our country justifiably famous throughout the globe as a centre for culinary excellence. Apart from the Skips, which last about three days and the tea, which I use on an “as required” basis, i.e. about ten times per day, the rest I horde away (usually until it’s three years past its best before date). The Ribena, I keep until illness strikes.
Ribena is a syrupy, gloopy goo made out of sugar, some more sugar, a drop of sucrose, some blackcurrant juice (the bottle I have here alleges that 95% of the UK and Ireland’s blackcurrant harvest is used to make Ribena, which makes me wonder about quality control), vitamin C and a dash more sugar, for taste.
Anyway, GlaxoSmithKline makes it, so it must be medicine, right? And I’m pouring it (mixed with hot water) down my throat as fast as my fevered little body can take it.
It’s when you don’t feel well (and I feel so ill right now I might not even make it to the pub tonight), that those products from home, which you grew up with, suddenly become all-important sources of psychological as well as physical well-being; Ribena, Heinz Mulligatawny soup and proper medicine as opposed to the herbal nonsense that the people at the Apotheke try and palm off on you.
“But it’s Swiss herbs” they say.
“If I wanted ‘swiss herb’, I’d go and buy a quarter ounce from that really inconspicuous guy with the green dreadlocks at the main station – I want chemicals – I want the stuff from the adverts where one minute you’re lying in bed on a drip, then you take a tablet and an hour later you’re playing football / sky diving / having important business meetings.” you’ll say.
“The only adverts like that on German TV are for feminine hygiene products”, she’ll say, before adding “or we have this syrup made out of gnat’s milk” At which point you’ll scowl and walk out of the chemists without paying for the big box of tissues under your arm (sorry about that, I’ll pay for them next time, honest).
Thankfully, I have a bottle and a half of Ribena left and I’m counting out the Excedrin to see how long they’ll last. At least, as springbean can testify, the tissues are good.
German Phrase For Today: “Zitronenmelisse” - A little like morphine, but not quite as good
Song playing as this was published: The Smashing Pumpkins - “Tonight, Tonight”
Hi IAF, thank you for the message! It has made me very glad. Thank you very much
hmm, you shouldn’t be out there on a Sunday morning at 1 am dancing to garage music. That’ll make you sick…remember your age;)
Get well soon!
Awww, Gute Besserung!
I absolutely ration myself to 4 teabags a day. My Swiss friend just doesn’t get the tea thing at all. I pity her.
And even though it’s been at least 14 years since I ate a packet of Skips, I have now spoken of or read about them 3 times in the past week!
I used up my last Tetley tea bag just last week and have been subsisting on the inferior stuff ever since.
Ribena is very good for you vitamin-wise, but it does a number on your teeth with all that sugar and acid at the same time. But if it works for you…
My husband swears by Hagebuttentee. It’s what his Mutti gave him as a kid when he was sick and it’s what he needs now when he feel like he’s about to kick the bucket. Old habits die hard.
Get well soon!
Maybe a little Marmite on some white bread will help you get better. Last time I tried it, it made me vomit up all the “bad humors” in my body… Very effective UK medicine.
I am a convert to the french cure-all “fervex” which is basically paracetemol and vitamin c, but dissolved and tasty and in a mediciney looking package. All french diseases are imaginary anyway, and someone obviously saw a niche in the market for an imaginary cure in the form of fervex.
I am somehow not surprised that the first reports of humans catching bird flu in europe (later found to be unsubstantiated) were from two french people.
Once when I had a guest from the US visiting in Munich, we both got food poisoning (at Cafe Glockenspiel in Marienplatz, BTW). I went to the Apotheke to pick up something for the, uh, symptoms, and the lady tried to get me to buy some nice charcoal. Yeah. Just give me the Imodium and nobody gets hurt, okay?
Gute Besserung, IAF.
You’re going to be cross with me because as a fellow Ribena fan, I shouldn’t recommend some bastardised version of it.
HOWEVER.
If in the Aldi where you live you can get Lacaro brand Schwarz Johannisbeere juice- it’s German ribena just without all the extra sugar. I mean technically you could add a shitload of sugar to a packet and make your own syrup out of it (which is what I did).
I’ve been drinking Ribena since I was tiny and I swear IAF, it tastes exactly the same (if you do the make-your-own-syrup thing otherwise it’s a little more sour). Plus if you use sterilised bottles and store the syrup, you can store some and you won’t ever run out!
I think he’ll need something a little stronger than ribena this morning, and coming only forth. Shame IAF, shame.
Lashings of hot tea cures all, perhaps interleaved with the odd Alka Seltzer.
I was never a big fan of Ribena (I send you a picture of the last time I drank it), but if you are feeling a bit under the weather try getting pissed. It might not cure your illness but you do feel a lot better for a while
Dr. Haddock
I agree with Haddock, Poison your body with drink to the point no silly little virus wants to live there. Unless of course, that’s what made you feel bad to start with.
Paracetamol/codeine tablets are awesome. You know, I’ll be happy to send you a care package from here if you like. Let me know what you may need.
I recommend a litre of grapefruit juice, a stiff whisky or two, and attempting to sweat it out through exercise or a good woman or something.
At least you don’t have the Underground over there, which is essentially a cramped, feverish metal tube swarming with hideous viruses. Although I find that coughing ostentatiously and going “sorry, something I picked up in Thailand” tends to clear a nice big space.
Oh bloody hell! That’s an awful lot of comments to reply to. First off thank you all very much for the good wishes!
that girl: It will never happen again. For a while.