I’m sure you all know the situation: you get off the plane, head towards the luggage collection, and wait whilst the baggage handlers have a drink, a quick smoke and occasionally peer through those little plastic slats to watch you all standing impatiently – it’s a tedious job and seeing people who’ve just arrived from exciting locations such as Stuttgart must be more than a little frustrating and I don’t begrudge them a few moments of schadenfreude whilst annoying the rich and glamorous.
The little flashing light comes on, the carousel starts and a single solitary bag comes through those slats. For some incomprehensible reason everyone chatters excitedly, I don’t know why, we all know that the baggage handlers have put it on for a bit of a laugh. It’ll either be a battered cardboard box, with some writing in Arabic on it, in which case everyone will slowly edge away from the conveyer belt, or a black Samsonite suitcase – and because they’re so common, lots of the passengers will think it belongs to them. Eventually, after half a dozen people have scrambled to pick it up before realising that the tag on it says it should be in Calcutta, say, rather than Manchester, it will be left to forlornly circle on the carousel for ten minutes until the baggage handlers finish their cigarettes and throw everyone’s luggage onto the conveyer belt. Everyone’s luggage except mine, that is.
Actually that’s not strictly true, the completely empty suitcase, which I intend to fill with food and presents for the return trip (I’m returning by land, with stops in London and Paris for New Year, so weight isn’t a problem) is there. The suitcase containing all my clothes and well, “stuff” is missing. I wander off to try to find a lost luggage desk and, after waiting in line behind a man from an Emirates flight whose cardboard box is missing, I get to explain that my black Samsonite suitcase is absent.
“The baggage handlers have probably sent it to Calcutta as part of their reciprocal agreement deal.” the guy behind the counter mutters.
“What?”
“I mean, fill in this form describing the article and leave your contact details. They usually turn up within 24-48 hours.”
So I fill in the form, wonder if the gift which was sent from the US (superb though it is, and grateful as I am), which I put in the suitcase is somehow cursed and receive a property irregularity report form as well as a telephone number in case I want to “see how they’re getting on with the search”.
As far as my Anglo vs. German moaning goes, I’m not sure whether to blame England or Germany for this one; did they not load it at Stuttgart? Did they lose it in Manchester? Did the airline jettison it over Belgium? I am at least in a country where the supermarkets are open 24 hours a day, so I can buy a toothbrush and some fresh socks, underwear and so on despite it being midnight, so that’s one point for England. On the other hand, when I ring up the lost baggage people in Manchester to ask them to use a contact number other than my mobile phone (the batteries of which are running down and the charger is, tada! In the suitcase) I get charged at a premium rate. Minus one point for England. I’m meant to drive to Scotland today (that nation gets to join the “does it hate me? League” too), although I might have to do a little clothes shopping before leaving, as one t-shirt and one thin polo shirt probably isn’t enough for a “let’s drive through the Highlands in the middle of winter” trip.
No comments about putting all your eggs in one suitcase please.
German/Mancunian Phrase For Today: “Bitte bewahren Sie Ihre Buchungsbestaetigung (die Gepaeckabschnitte sowie die Verlustmeldung) auf. Diese Meldung stellt keine Anerkennung einer Haftpflicht dar.” - You’re never going to see your luggage again, but it’s not our responsibility.
doh!
The gift isn’t cursed, it just seems have a problem with authority and doesn’t like being told where to go. I suspect it just needs to take a few unsupervised sidetrips before realizing how much better it is at home. It is probably just out for a night on the town and will call when the hangover sets in. I know it seems like the start of a rocky relationship but with a little give and take, maybe you can establish a healthy “owner - inanimate object” relationship. Or at least convince it to stop stealing your luggage.
Just be thankful they delivered you to the correct country. Doesn’t always happen.
Remind me never to travel with you!
820: Tell me, are people branded with the same university logo as the gift as wild and difficult to tame?
Tim: Quite right, although I don’t think my suitcase has been subject to an extraordinary rendition and is currently in some dusty windowless cell in a Central Asian Republic (although you never know).
devonboys: I don’t know what you mean, I’m hardly ever subject to misfortune….
AF,
Make sure to keep the shopping bills. The airline has to reimburse you (in part) for certain basic items (although they might not be willing to immediately replace the delicate silk boxers you brought for New Year’s in Paris). That is if they cannot deliver your suitcase the next day. If you need one of your misplaced belongings for urgent business purposes (let’s say a suit for an interview) they have to cover those expenses, too, if I remember correctly. You should ask them about their policy since I doubt that they will be very forthcoming.
My experience with lost suitcases is that nobody is trying to track it down. They usually wait until is pops up and then send it on its way. The drivers who deliver the suitcases usually ignore your requests as well as your voicemail and show up whenever they feel like it. Swiss, Lufthansa and British Airways (and their respective ground agencies) have told me more unkept promises and half-truths regarding lost baggage than I care to remember.
All the best from rainy Palo Alto where sushi restaurants close at 21:15 hrs.,
JCS
The thought behind the sender of the gift was really nice, but maybe he picked up the gift at an antique store and it is IS cursed..lol
I never knew how luggage is lost. Is it that hard to put it on a plane and then take it off and put it on the carts?
Wonder if they ever lost somebodys pet.
“Yes, but where the hell is Peepers?”
“I don’t know sir, possibly in the Philippines. But don’t worry, peepers will probably show up in a couple of days”
Re: Your question to 820 in reply #5
YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS WE ARE!!!!!!!! (mascot on the gift) RULE!!!!!!!
Merry Christmas IAF!!!
While I’m sympathetic, I’m afraid I must ask a more pressing question: when are you going to be in London again? Your dates confuse me.