“I ‘did’ my first lesbians on Friday” were the words my mother used to open our weekly telephone conversation.
“Have you told father yet?” I eventually managed to stammer, trying to banish some intensely disturbing images from my mind.
“It was a lovely ceremony,” she added, allowing me to finally grasp that she wasn’t discussing some kind of maternal all-girl action (now there’s a phrase for the search engines), but rather that she’d conducted proceedings at a same-sex civil partnership not-quite-marriage thingy.
It’s only been three weeks since the first one in the UK and despite all the media attention at the time I’d completely forgotten about the concept – it’s just become part of normal everyday life – background noise.
I used to think it was a Good Thing – Britain finally becoming just a little bit more sensible, however I’ve been having second thoughts. This is entirely due to one fact: On the day that Elton John finally got hitched I had to drive about 350miles in a car with no CD player and every single sodding radio station decided it would be witty, amusing and highly original to play “Kiss The Bride”. Over and over again. After the fourteenth time it started to become a little traumatising. Still, at least they didn’t go for his 1982 song “Legal Boys”, whose title might sound more appropriate, but is utter dross.
Of course, in the end I just turned the radio off and sang songs from musicals.
Song playing as this was published: Goldfrapp - “Let It Take You”
I think it is great that the UK is allowing my people the opportunity to get hitched. I just hope the US will do the same in the 21st century!!
James: I suppose the point that I failed to get across in the post was the apparent lack of fuss (admittedly there were some people who said it was wrong and sinful - there always are, no matter what the topic, “chocolate is the route to hell”, that kind of thing), but in general there seemed to be a mood of “and why not?”
Of course, that’s just my personal view, but if a person as conservative as my mother is happy to conduct the ceremonies and even threw “an officious little man from the council” out of the first event because he was trying to insist that a civil partnership ceremony couldn’t be held in that particular place because it was called “the Wedding Room”, well, it certainly doesn’t seem like the country where less than 10 years ago the age of consent was different between heterosexuals and er, “your people”.
It’s summed up neatly in a post at Broke in Berlin…. Although maybe the “suits you, sirs” quote needs minor cultural explanation for non-Britons…
great comment back to your mom! i think i would have said, “did you enjoy it?” or “was it all you thought it would be?”… better yet, “how did it compare to dad?”
poor me, went drinking friday night and still haven’t lost the dirty mind yet.
I’m a bit cross they didn’t have the balls to go the whole hog and call it marriage and weddings, or at least say that the state doesn’t administer weddings or marriages for anyone, as those are church-based certifications and that everyone “married” already, gay or straight, is, in the eyes of the state, in a civil partnership. It’s an equal rights thing for me…
I have an American friend who is refusing to get married to her boyfriend until gay marriage is legal across the US. It’s a good way to delay entering into helly matrimony…
But I reckon the brokeback mountain film will do more than you think. Many middle americans think being gay is all about interior decor and cruising in bars and crystal meth booty calls over craigslist in san francisco, but seeing that gay men can want to live in stable long term relationships too, without any pink boas and whatnot, will do quite a lot for people’s perceptions in the plains’ states. I hope, anyway….
The whole thing horrifies me. One of the most appealing things about being gay was your automatic conversational out should the girlfriend ever become a tad too clingy on the subject of permanent futures together. Now, thankyou very much sir Elt, I have wall to wall queer weddings to come back to and attend (in fabulous outfits, natch - splutter) at huge personal expense all bloody year, and not a scrap of girl defying excuse left to me.
(small voice inside screaming ^why can`t I belong to a sexuality that doesn`t campaign to get married, go to church and join the army?^ is swiftly silenced with a kick to the abdominals)
Although what I really wanted to say was: fascinating blog. Well done.