Rory Bremner has been heard to lament that the Boy Cameron is impossible to impersonate because he has no identifiable personal tics, unlike his predecessor, the MP for Jekyll and Hythe, who “took five minutes to ‘get’, max, especially after the sun went down.”
I thought Cammie-boy was going for the yoof vote until he came up with his (“oxy-” not required) moronic “compulsory volunteer” scheme for school-leavers.
Now if “Dave” wants to get down with the younger citizens of our fair Isles, he could do worse than take the advice of martian.fm.
Is martian.fm a ploy by Conservative HQ? A tester by a PR firm? Some lazy bugger who arses about with town planning and architectural schemes that involve demolishing towns (actually, the studies are only ever about demolishing Oxford, so no clues as to which university he works at)? We may never know, but when he portrays the Boy Cameron as “DEF C”, who states:
“I believe in tha values and principles of our N to tha H to tha S. We want to improve it for all tha niggas, not help tha few to hustle they way to a new hip, dog.”
Furthermo, those voices warning about tha dangers of ghettoisation in our country and a disintegrating sense of national cohesion be tight as a muthafucka. They some bad shit in tha world and no shit. Except tha shit in tha world to which I’ve just referred, obviously, and which I shall be tackling as a prioritay.
I think he’s got it. Cameron hasn’t - he hasn’t got a clue.
German Word For Today: “German Rap” - No really
Song playing as this was published: Goldfrapp “Satin Chic”
I despise Cameron; the worst kind of public schoolboy in affected middle-class clothing. He’s got that Blairite earnestness about him too (note, this is earnestness, not conviction - it stands in the same relationship to conviction that one of Blair’s many manifesto “pledges” stood to an actual promise). The public will probably be queuing up to elect him, the git. They’d better be warned that just because he looks like a middle-manager from Bracknell, he doesn’t necessarily think like one.
Oh yes, and his wife was taught to play pool by trip-hop has-been Tricky, apparently. How wonderfully “street” of her! Good grief.
WTF is this post about? - I guess I lost interest in UK politics many moons ago
All politicians are greedy self centered bastards……blah blah blah!
Leon: I initially thought that Cameron’s plan was to simply be Tony Blair and enough Labour MPs would be so horrified to be voting with the Tories that they’d swing to the left. Then, the Sun and the Mail would go into “Loony Labour MP Killed My Hamster” headlines and Cameron would be a shoo-in, but he’s all over the shop. God knows whose advising him. And that thing about being forced to do voluntary work? What? I mean, really.
He’s the PR man from Carlton that’s found himself as the potential next prime minister and it’s things like “Tricky taught my wife to play pool.” - trying to go one better than being “an ordinary, stand-up kinda guy” that really irrritates me. That and him being an utter twat.
Haddock: Do you know how many calories you can burn by ranting about UK politics? Especially if you do it whilst using an exercise bike. And I wanted to advertise martian a bit.
The thing about being forced to do voluntary work is, I suspect, a cack-handed ploy to unite Grauniad readers, for whom voluntary work is the most noble of all pursuits (beyond, I dunno, running one’s own ethically-sound vegetable stall or something), with the kind of froth-mouthed Mail-reading individual who’d enjoy seeing national service reintroduced. It’s essentially a doomed attempt to find common ground between the liberal and conservative tendencies of mittelengland.
Cameron seems to have failed to realise that the best way to get the whole middle class by balls is, naturally enough, through their pockets. Who is advising him? We’ll probably find out it’s a sock puppet that he talks to late at night.
See, politics is much more fun when it’s proper firebrands knocking verbal shades of shite out of one another. Debating with someone who consistently changes their mind based on a populist approach simply isn’t any fun at all.
German rap, oh yes Rodeheim Hartreim Projekt, Fanta Vier and Fettes Brot I remember them well from when I was in the Fatherland. Fettes Brot were the most amusing, RHP were the most proficient and Fanta Vier were the ones who had the Top Zehn hits.
Baron: Just yesterday evening I was talking about the debating society at Glasgow University, of which I was a member as are over half of all MSPs and at one time, a majority of the Labour front bench. It’s brutal (no wonder so many develop a drinking problem), the house of commons must be a walkover afterwards. But anyway, I was talking to a man (also from the GUU) who was good friends with John Smith - at one point I said “wouldn’t it be great if he was still alive? He’d rip Tony Blair to shreds at PMQ. It took us both about five or so minutes to realise they were in the same party.
Now, I will admit to my weakness and own up to having a Fettes Brot CD, but I have to draw the line somewhere. Söhne Mannheims would be a good place to start. Don’t get me wrong, German verbs at the end of sentences must make rap easy, but compared to say the French equivalent. Well, it’s not so good really (in my, personal, opinion).
Baron -added: Tony Benn for instance I consider to be 100% wrong, but I respect him and would love to to have an argument/discussion with him because he believes, really believes what he’s saying. I’m trying to think of a Tory equivalent, but can’t, they’re still doing the Labour in 1993 thing “why didn’t we win the last election?” Maybe Nicholas Soames or even (dare one say it) Boris Johnson.
“Oi! I’ve got patent pending on that” you thieving get!
And your last piece about student scientists was utter crap. I bet you’re still not a pipe smoker are you? Harold Wilson was, and that’s good enough for me, dunno if he rode a Kawasaki though….
Yes, I like Tony Benn by and large, he’s regarded benignly by lefties as the sort of old Uncle who’s a bit mad but a good sort. He’s a bit of a reactionary old fart but consistent as you say. As actually is Roy Hattersley, he hasn’t moved right, he used to be on the right of the Labour party whilst now is regarded as the voice of the left. John Smith was a social democrat at best but a more committed politician and the country would have been a different place.
BoJo is a bit of a ponce but an affable cove in spite of his politics. The Chingford Nazi Normo Tebbs has remained pretty much true to his roots of “we’d be ok if it weren’t for all the darkies” Soames is a wanker and I can’t get past my detestation to think whether he politically remains true.
I think Cameron represents a real threat and may very well get in, he is after all in his own words the natural sucessor to Blair, and therein lies the reason I must hate him!
Yes, I remember when Hattersley was regarded as right-wing as well (at least, I vaguely remember my parents arguing about it). This was back in the days of Michael Foot, mind you, when men were men and duffle coats were suitable attire for Remembrance Day ceremonies.
I’d like to think that Johnson’s appealing shambling-idiot persona was genuine, but can’t help thinking there’s something gruesome lurking underneath (the aforementioned Normo Tebbs perhaps).
Aaaargh Leon, the very thought of BoJo unzipping himself to reveal Normo Tebbs beneath will haunt me for many years!
Gentlemen, please! I think the imagery in these comments is geeting a little too disturbing!
It could be worse…it could be, I dunno, Nick Ridley or Lord Hailsham or something.
Leon: Puts fingers in ears and sings “la, la, la” before realising this doesn’t actually help stop one reading the words or getting the mental image out of my head.
You’re a sick, sick individual.