The day that I moved to Germany was June 26th 1996. I know this because I still have the copy of “Scotland’s” Mirror, one of the newspapers which was handed out on the plane on the day that I flew there.
“Achtung! Surrender!” the disturbingly intelligent headline read, over a photograph of, I think, Stuart Pearce and Paul Gascoigne wearing old British Army WWI / II helmets. Piers Morgan’s enormous wit extended even further; to writing an editorial declaring “football war” on Germany, together with advice to “cut out this page and hang it in your window.” It’s surely the greatest example of British tabloid journalism / annoying the German ambassador (which is basically the same thing) that I’ve ever seen and I’m eternally grateful that British Airways handed them out on the flight to Frankfurt.
It was, of course, in reference to the England vs. Germany semi-final of EM 96 taking place that day, and I got to watch England lose – somewhat surprisingly in a penalty shootout – that evening as the token England fan in a roomful of approximately 500 German people. It was splendid fun and the humorous comments which were aimed in my direction, whilst not quite up to the standards of the Mirror, helped cement my love of all things Teutonic.
Somehow, I always thought that the day of my glorious departure from Germany would coincide with the publication of some equally inspired piece of journalism. Instead, all I could find was a newsstand in London that had die Zeit asking, “Was ist ein gerechter Lohn?” next to the Evening Standard’s banner of “Richard Branson’s £700 Million Payday” – a pretty fair answer, I’m sure you’ll agree. Maybe I should have waited until the World Cup, maybe it’s because I’ll be going back, maybe I should have flown and paid for the excess 40-odd kilos, rather than taking the train.
I suppose the point of this long and winding entry is to say, “I’m not in Germany anymore, Toto”, mostly as a result of not being able to find a reasonable place to live. The sidebar “expat” symbol is going to stay there though, if only because being in England feels very alien – I expect there’ll be lots of entries complaining about the lack of decent bread in the coming weeks.
Hi Actualfact,
Hopefully you’ll still write? I was just starting to get used to your sense of humor - which for an USian isn’t always a given.
I know when I go back home how it seems a little “foreign” to me. I always wonder if I ever went back “for good” - never say never - if it could ever become completely home again. The lack of adequate bread and coffee and nevermind Hefeweizen would probably prevent that.
Best of luck and please let us know how you’Re doing.
You could pay through the nose at a Polish-/Eastern-European- oriented grocers.They have decent bread. Turks also have bread that’s sort of OK.
Karl: Thanks, and I’ll still “write”, if we allow a pretty wide-ranging definition of the word. I also have to admit that, to be honest, this little move doesn’t really feel like “for good”, but more of that in the next post.
Marcin: I guess that might be the case in London, but I’ll be spending a few weeks at the parental home (oh, the shame), where the bread is delivered and the choice is white or brown pap; We don’t have foreign people and their strange foodstuffs here, oh no. Maybe I could find an “unnecessarily chewy” bread emporium if I drove to Buxton….
We still complain about the lack of good bread and we have been stateside now since 89. Once you love a place (and the food), you will always be a part of it.
Good heavens! Everyone seems to be ‘going back’ these days. Am I going to be the only one left here?
Jesus, IAF, that was a drastic move. Hope it all goes well. If you do make it back to Germany, consider Berlin. You’d have no problem finding something here for about 2p (very approximately).
Welcome to London, er, Staffordshire Moorlands (or was that your grandmother’s?). The bread may be rubbish, but if you time it right and get it for nine-pence, it tastes so much better (except for the mouldy bits). Hmm, why is the highlight of my week bankrupting Morrissons?
Oh, and if you need a place to stay (even though I know you don’t, hence I can safely offer; it’s the appearance of generosity which counts) you’re always welcome here, although you may occasionally get crushed by the possessions of a Danish ex-flatmate (you’d think as someone from the country which invented Lego, he’d have grasped the concept of stacking by now, wouldn’t you?).
repatriation updates would still be interesting for those who might come here for your “expat” posts. I’d be interested to know how you are coping.
Oh er Mister, finally an update. I was wondering where you have been and are you incommunicado?
OK I understand. Now here comes the big question. How do I stay in touch? Still on your .de email address? And are you on the DE mobile?
Oh for some crazy reason now you are back in Blighty, I feel as if you have left me on the continent. How odd?
Nx
p.s I will get really weird if you don’t stay in touch. I need my “you are not alone” feeling when I am here … oh? actually I have forgotten, I am in the NL now. It feels like Germany somehow….
I returned to UK once for 5 years. After a year I began to hate it. I must admit I love returning to the UK for a holiday and to see family and friends, but I’ll be buggered if I’ll ever live there again. England seems like an alien place to me nowadays…….even cricket has become popular with the masses……blah blah blah……anyways IAF hopw it all works out for you
I always used to think I would find it fairly easy to live in the UK, but after just half a year here I’m not so sure anymore. It certainly has to do with the lack of decent bread (but being surrounded by constantly drunk first-years doesn’t do much good, either).
I hope things will somehow sort themselves out for you. And I’d offer you some of the imported German bread I have right now, but I’m not sure I won’t have finished it before you have a chance to reply…
Maribeth: I’ve acquired a bread machine, but preliminary efforts have been, shall we say, “disappointing” - I think I must increase the sawdust/grit content in the recipes for a more authentic taste.
Christina: Look, I ran away whilst it was still an option and now I’m applying for jobs in Mannheim… Oh, and Hawaii.
Nina: I’ll be in Paris from Thursday onwards, that’s in Europe. The German handy nummer is still working, but I’m just using it for texts, receiving calls is disturbingly expensive. Both .de e-mail addresses work, as does inactualfact(at)gmail.com. BTW - I sent a “Noor” card which was returned - now I can ask if you’ve moved?
Anyhoo: I’ve got my sleeping bag, your address and a list of dietary requirements - I’ll see you tomorrow - very kind of you to offer.
BiB. Haddock, AnP, Stefan: I left Germany on April 3rd and replaced my Bahncard for a year starting April 1st, which probably gives you some indication of the idea of not living in Germany in my mind. I have lots of things to write about 1. Why I left and 2. What it’s like to return to Britain after spending the majority of my adult life in Germany (without wanting to give too much away, the answer to question 2 is “weird”).
Hey you, we are still at the same address. I don’t udnerstand why the card was returned. Sehr komisch.
So, the French connection is still on? Absolutement magnifique!
Bonne, over to emails…
Nx
Oh wow, you’re gone, huh? Guess we won’t be bumping in to each other at the Corso Kino!
Well, good luck, take care, and I look forward to reading about your “expat” experience back in England!
Damn guy. Yo made the jump back home. Good for you. Think about all of us poor souls still here´on the Glacier ;-)
Anyway, I certainly hope you continue to post. It’s been enjoyable reading your stuff.
I sincerely wish you the best of luck.
I remember the tin hats affair and it was pretty shameful.
I expect Angela Merkel’s bare bottom will be the present day equivalent you were searching for.
Maribeth, IAF: in case you forgot, Britain is technically in Europe too, you know…. geopolitically, if not econo-culturally.
Does your silence mean you’ve found somewhere that sells decent bread?