Well okay, just the one. And you’ll have to click on it to get a large-scale version, if pussy cats and bunny rabbits are your kind of thing…..
One of the things that I did miss when I lived a metropolitan life in Germany was having pets – most specifically a dog. However, it just wouldn’t have been fair to keep an animal in an apartment and go out to work during the day. I know that some people have pet cats that never leave the apartment, but I tend think of them as animals that should be outside catching mice in outbuildings or something.
I’d forgotten the consequences of this. Maybe it’s just that my sister’s current pair of cats have worked out how to hunt as a team, rather than sole predators and are incredibly successful, or just that as I’m sleeping in the spare room / office on the ground floor, nearer to an outside door. Whichever, I’m starting to get bloody annoyed, or at least bloody spots on my belongings as every morning I’m awoken with a gift.
The gift is usually still alive, but with missing limbs. Realising I’m not going to be impressed with mice or birds, which are either eaten or left, discarded, around the yard, it’s almost always a young rabbit. Now, although being awakened by the squeals of a mortally injured small animal is infinitely better than the voice of Chris Moyles emanating from a radio alarm clock, it does mean that the first item on my morning routine consists of taking said animal outside and putting it swiftly out of its misery.
Today’s tribute was a weasel – most impressive – they’re beautiful, if vicious little creatures, which have evolved perfectly for their role. This one didn’t look in such great shape though; its upper body was rolling around and it was squealing in pain, but its lower body below where its lower spine had been snapped was motionless. Compared to the usual rabbits, it had bright, intelligent eyes and it was almost saddening to bring the axe down on its neck.
The whole subject leads me to ask several questions.
1. Why does my sister let the damn creatures into the house first thing in the morning when she goes to look after her horse?
2. Bearing in mind how the idea of taking personal responsibility for defending your property and family in this country is viewed, and that of the 8 homes which have my postcode, the other 7 have all been burgled within the past 36 months - if I ever find myself having to explain to the police why I keep a shovel and an axe next to my bed, should I use the phrase “It’s for finishing off vermin”?
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