Many of the stories on this blog involve events in my life going “ever so slightly” wrong. Things do, however, appear to be picking up. As I don’t want to induce too much jealousy within you I will quote only two examples:
- Whilst lifting a heavy box I sliced open the back of my hand on a piece of corrugated steel exposing those nice thick veins that reside there. Despite the veins being free and looking somewhat like the inside of a piece of liver, none of them were actually damaged, so, for the price of only a few butterfly dressings, I got a refresher anatomy lesson on the circulatory system of the hand.
- I returned from Holland by train. By way of Cologne. Many trains to and from Cologne are operated by Deutsche Bahn. Myself and others have had “issues” with DB in the past, so I allowed an extra 3 hours to get to Brussels to catch the only Eurostar train for which my ticket was valid. Final boarding for the Eurostar took place at 17:30, by which time Deutsche Bahn had got me as far as Aachen. However, through the grace of God, a truck caught fire in the channel tunnel, closing it. At least according to BBC online, many trains were cancelled as “chaos” ensued and thousands of passengers were “stranded” in Europe – my Eurostar train was delayed by five hours, meaning that despite the best efforts of DB, I was still able to return to the UK from Holland in under 24 hours.
I’m sure you will agree, I’m just one of those sickeningly lucky people. I might even ignore what I learned in Statistics classes and buy a lottery ticket this weekend.
Song playing as this was published: Half Man Half Biscuit - “Reasons to be Miserable (part ten)”
Don’t bother with that lottery ticket, I was going to buy one this weekend. And there can only be one winner.
Armin: We can’t both be that lucky. And since the reclassification of Pluto my astrology chart has been all over the place. I guess if I did buy a lottery ticket (I’ve always warned people that if I ever buy a lottery ticket it will be a sign of suicidal desperation), we could split the winnings, or, as I’m still rational, the losses…..
Get the train and ferry, I mean “high speed thingy that’s a bit like a ferry, but it’s not a hovercraft, maybe it’s a catermaran?”, from anywhere in Holland to Liverpool Street/Cambridge via Hook of Holland-Harwich, 25 quid single/39 euros, if you’re lucky. The boat is a bit shite (”modern”, i.e. full of cheap copies of Burger King-style outlets to keep the “kids” “happy”, but better (and cheaper) than going via Cologne.
Ooh I’ve been on that, when I decided that driving from Tübingen to Glasgow and back was “a good idea”.There’s a circle of hell just like that ship (well the bit in the middle) - on the return journey I paid the 12 quid to sit in the bit at the front with some ridiculous name (observation area?) - I thought it was stupid and pointless until I realised it’s sealed off from the “family friendly” area and one can read a book in peace. I chose “How To Drive Past Brussels And Not Get Lost” which, if results are anything to go by, is rubbish.
I find, if the APEX fares are sold out (or simply unbookable due to a crap website) phoning up Stena in Newcastle and claiming to be a travel journalist is a good way to save around 15 quid.
And I think it’s only 4 quid for the “Ruhezone”. I am considering splashing out. Ryanair is probably cheaper, but god, all those Stag nights/hen parties on board - Bib: it’s your fault and I blame you. Night train to Duisburg and then a local ticket to the border, voila.
Otherwise: DB Nachtzug to Brussels is always late, and Eurostar don’t care, they just give you a place on the next train. If the Eurostar is late, complain a number of times, in writing, each including a copy of your ticket. In reply (to each letter), you’ll get a letter containing a voucher for a new ticket. Also when replying to complain that a voucher doesn’t answer the original question asking why it looked like the train was last cleaned before it entered service, and since then was only used by schoolkids. Competent, I don’t think so.