Dear Mr. E.On,
Somewhere in England you own a subsidiary responsible for the supply of my electricity. I was wondering if it would be possible to upgrade my electricity supply to the modern, always-on, available-24-hours-per-day variant, which I keep reading about in the newspapers.
I am aware from the letters you frequently send that you are ‘working hard to upgrade the electrical distribution infrastructure in my area, so please don’t connect a generator to the mains and electrocute our staff whilst your power is off all day; just keep the freezer door closed and forget about using the computer.’ Irritating though these interruptions are, at least I receive prior warning. It’s the power just goes out for 30 minutes, 3 times a week, at random thing that really gets on my nerves and requires me to have Word set to autosave every 2 minutes for fear of losing (ahem) valuable typed work. If you could have a minion look into it for you, I’d be most grateful and in the meantime I’ll go and reset all the clocks in the house. Again.
I remain, etc……
Song playing as this was published: Billy Bragg - “Waiting For The Great Leap Forward“
But you strike me as the sort of person who really enjoys setting clocks. It would give you a sense of control in an uncertain world. Surely, they are providing a public service in giving you the opportunity to exert control on a regular basis.
It’s not so much the “normal” clocks that are the problem - it’s the radio-controlled ones. When the power comes back on they search for the radio signal from an atomic clock and synchronise themselves exactly with it. It’s a great feature, except that every radio-controlled clock I have came from Germany and looks for the signal from Darmstadt. If the power goes off whilst I’m asleep, this can lead to something awful such as getting up an hour earlier than strictly necessary. Sometimes before noon, even.
At least you get letters warning you. The power supply round here seems to excel in hiccups; minor blips that are just detectable if the lights are on, but which send any computer plinking into a quagmire of corrupted autorecovery files.
But perhaps I’m being a little irrational as I had my own personal thunderstorm sitting overhead all morning. It wasn’t terribly dramatic; it just loomed, occasionally flicking off bits of infrastructure. So the morning was spent tryng to collect, and return amended, emailed files while only ever having two out of the following: electricity, phone line, ISP connection. Somehow even my mobile abandoned all hope of communication. Given the tendency of anything electrical to keel over recently, I’m beginning to wonder where exactly North Korea have been doing those tests.
My dear boy, when you come to Karachi, you’ll look back on these days and scoff. Scoff! At your weakness, your naivete, at how good you had (have?) it. Reset your clocks, it’s much easier than fanning yourself for hours on end with random marginally wind-generative items.
I head back on the 30th. If you’re in London before then on a weekend, give us a shout.
Eon is well-known to provide dirt-cheap electricity and excellent service here in Germany. They have to eat, you know? So they probably make ends meet by saving a bit of money here and there in minor markets like the provincial parts of the UK. I would like to write more on energy policy, monopolies and utility companies that don’t have to give a rat’s ass about their customers, but I need to find a 2nd job to pay off my Vattenfall electricity bill.
PS: Since I don’t have a valid e-mail address, have a look at Roche’s Job ID: 00000048 and -49. I believe both positions are based in BW, just a stone’s throw (across the river Rhine) from Basel.
Dear Mr Fact
You does make I go laarfy, laarf, laarf.
Why aren’t you being published? Properly. In a book. Earning royalties.
Respectfully
Queen of Swords (The)
Really glad I tripped up on this site., ’cause ” the best things in life are free”
I just wanted to add that If you think power cuts are bad; ’cause I also have to put up and shut up about these in “Vorsprung durch Technik Germany”even though my poncy Jura life support machine is now malfunctioning and there is absolutely no point in even bothering to set the clocks again. you haven’t tried: T-Com’s:
I , , , , , S, , , , D, , , , N , , , , and the amazing 64000 Bit/Sek shit they sell at the weight of oz. in Gold. ’cause thats even more fun! Ahh, but what would I do if I needed to go to the loo and everything was already downloaded?? I really don’t know how you people survive.
written 10 minutes outside Freiburg, but close to the moon.
post scriptum: Re. Apothekerin: Für Komplikationen und Nebenwirkungen, fressen Sie der/die/das?? Beipackszettel und erschlagen Sie ihren Arzt oder Apotheker! ( this is what my bi-lingual son chimes when the ads run…witzig!)
Sin: October 30th seems to be shipping out day for lots of people. I shall see what I can come up with, chances seem slim though.
JCS: Thanks, JCS. I’ve even considered working in a lab, such is my current position. As a test patient, obviously.
Queen of Swords, The: Why thank you (if you’re not mocking). And don’t worry, I am being published, properly - it’s just that rather than paying royalties, Developmental Biology want extra cash from me for more than two colour figures…
Harley: Hello and welcome to the blog, I’ll try to use as few words as possible in reply, to save on the downloading time. Actually I have tried ISDN. I even bundled two of the lines together to get up to 128Kbit/Sek until I received the itemised bill from Telekom at the end of that month….
I am not mocking, no. And ‘Developmental Biology’, impressive as it may be, is not really what I was thinking of. Your blog is erudite and entertaining, and your take on life makes me laugh, smile, and nod sagely in approval by turns. Well, apart from when you’re talking in foreign*, that is. Then I just go: “Erm . . . Duurrrh?” I think your take on life and your style of writing deserves greater attention. But I am too lazy to email a link to everyone I know. So pull your finger out and find yourself a publisher. Preferably, one that pays you.
*A term covering both computer-speak and German.
Queen of Swords: I am entertaining and erudite? Now I’m all like, flattered and well, you know, stuff.
Fingers will be pulled out and I’ll phone *ALL* my publisher friends straight away. Hmm…