Is that when someone tells you by phone that, “We’d like to offer you the position - your references were excellent and we just have to sort it all out with HR.” you might feel that you’re in with a teensy-weensy chance.
You’re not.
Also. If you’re applying to companies which may or may not be popularly known for making small, blue pills useful in treating erectile dysfunction, make sure your e-mail provider isn’t automatically trashing mails inviting you to “contact ‘Mrs. Smith’ to arrange a date and time for an interview, mutually suitable to both of us BEFORE NOON ON JANUARY 29TH” just because of the company name, whilst still flooding your Inbox with: “BUY GENUINE V!AGRA C1AL!5!5 FENTERM!NE”
Song playing as this was published: 10,000 Maniacs - “Stockton Gala Days”
Oh no! For both. Bastards for the first one. Idiots who should have realised by now for the second one.
Well, the first, I told myself that I’m glad I’m not going to be working for such a group of incompetents. The second, well, I get about 200 e-mails per day automatically dumped in the spam box and I DO check them - obviously not well enough - it is there, I didn’t see it. It’s from “Person’s Real Name (which I’ve never heard of before)” with a subject line of “RE:”
If I hadn’t just discovered that e-mails from someone I know who works for ‘bigpharma.com’ are automatically being blacklisted, I’d never have considered a specific search for that company name in the spam folder.
Also: Having the words “Only successful candidates will be contacted” on the advert didn’t exactly help.
I’m setting aside half an hour to feel a bit pathetic and sorry for myself now…..
I’m really sorry for you.
The Streets: I’m really sorry for me too, for at least another 25 minutes, then it’s back to applying. But, you know, it’s appreciated.
Still, at least you won’t get all those inappropriate jokes at cocktail parties. Or people holding you personally respomsible for the spam in their inboxes…
Oh vey, it’s another one of those mishaps that magically seem to find you even in the UK. But why did the HR person use a non-descriptive subject line like “RE:”? Is it too much to ask for something like a job ID or “your application”? Anyway, the whole story sounds almost credible which is quite a change from your previous mishaps. Have you considered calling the company, explaining your the situation, begging for forgiveness and mentioning your biggest asset: That you can perfectly pronounce the founder’s name which about 300 million people cannot do?
I made the experience that you can spend hours entering incredibly useful information like the exact date of your first day in school into online application systems. As a reward HR might send you a brief e-mail - or not - months after submission. If they do, they will probably address you with your first name (incredibly impolite in this neck of the woods) since they were too cheap to customise their US software.
I currently get 9 squillion emails per day with the subject line “Re:” or “Your Application”, funnily enough, none seem to be from employers I’ve actually contacted. Could they all be actually for you? Do you want me to forward them all on?
Just think, at least you are not going to have to work in the same office as someone who hates you. That’s just me.
Sorry you didn’t get it…keep trying.
Life does bite sometimes! Actually, you have encountered one of my greatest fears about job applications: Did I forget to turn on my answering machine? Is the server down? Did my spam filter boot out the reply. I guess that proves being paranoid about it has a basis in reality.
JCS: I actually rang them up (before writing that post) - they’ve “held the initial round of interviews for that position” but will “keep me on file” - hopefully not as the guy who doesn’t bother to reply to e-mails. And, despite that little slip-up I *am* diligent, methodical, IT-literate and pay close attention to detail, oh yes.
And whaddya mean, “almost credible”? Are you suggesting that sometimes I agglomerate two or three anecdotes into one story to make it more, or at least vaguely, amusing?
For the record, the first job was here. You know where the second one was, but I’m trying to keep this blog HR-ungoogleable - except for the phrase “The Bloody Germans” of course.
daggi: yes, well, if you use that e-mail address, what do you expect? And I get the same shit too. And all I need to do to earn €500-€5000 per month is to be a resident of, and hold a bank account in the following countries….. - - …..and to forward said bank account details.
820: Actually, that was the Zen moment; I didn’t immediately think “If I ever meet a twat-bastard spammer I’m going to murder them with an ice-pick” - although I did think that later, before deciding it would be far too quick and not nearly cruel or unusual enough. I just sat and stared at the computer screen for an unknown amount of time.
At some point, it struck me that returning to live at my parent’s home, in the middle of fucking nowhere, at the age of 34, in a country I hadn’t lived in for a decade, but which doesn’t really exist in any way that I remember it; ostensibly because they were sick “but we don’t want to talk about it” and needed some help to ‘get their affairs in order, but we can’t tell you anything’ might not have been the absolutely bestest idea in the entire history of the world….
(I hope there’s no sense of bitterness in there…..)
I’m currently in the middle of applying for jobs, and it’s a thoroughly depressing prospect. The years spent gaining high-level postgrad qualifications seem to have rendered me, erm, effectively unemployable. In any case, to get any kind of vaguely arts-related job in London nowadays it’s pretty much compulsory to be called Sophie, or Gemma, or something.
Oh jeez, that is really too bad, I’m sorry.
)) Funny the way things can sometimes turn out.
When I started applying (towards the end of writing my thesis) I created a sparkling new email account, a serious-sounding one (like, NOT sexybunny77@ something), which I then checked every ten seconds.
BTW in the end I got my current job through a friend of mine with (almost) the exact same qualifications who did not want it and recommended me. (She then went on to hate that other job and now works two doors down
I swear. It can get ugly.
But all the very best of luck there… I’m sure you’ll catch hold of something you’ll love.
P.S. for Nicolette: Aye, funny in deed the way things sometimes work out.
Oops. I just saw my blog’s snap snippet through my comment above and realized that I had my old address cached in your commenting system. Now it’s fine. Sorry…
On a different theme: Can I move to the UK???? Were up…. but only to 28% science literacy.
http://www.wral.com/news/science/story/1206829/
Actually, being able to say “being female is a leading negative factor in science literacy” makes it all worth while. Finally, somebody has spoken the truth…..just kidding - I’m as outraged as the rest of you and please send all death threats and hate mail to actual factual.
The Problem With Applying For Jobs…
…is that the constant rejection may cause you to think that you no longer exist and hence be incapable of updating your blog this side of the apocalypse.
Or in other words, my dear laddy Disdain, are you yet living?
Hey!
You haven’t written in a long time!? What’s up?
Sounds like the problems we go through with providing our email in the comments section.
It’s a bit early in the year for them, but I suppose, with it having been such a mild winter, the sea lanes are open a month or two sooner than usual . . . I think there’s a distinct possibility that Mr Fact has been abducted by a marauding band of Swedish Ninja Sex Vixens and is, even now, suffering unspeakably in their clutches.
Maybe someone could organise a whip-round to raise the ransom money?
Look, we know you’re still alive, because how else do you account for the Flickrd daffosnows, so stop hiding behind the coffee table hoping we’ll go away and bloody well blog. Don’t make me make Sin ring you.
Gosh, hope you’re OK wherever you are, Herr Actual.