In Actual Fact

But only the really cheesy ones. Hmm. That doesn’t really narrow it down does it? How about the really cheesy (i.e. all) ones that were written whilst I was in Staffordshire? Yes, that will do it, as the EU now recognises Staffordshire cheese “due to the distinctive nature of the cows diet” amongst other things. Now, I always had this vision of cows eating, you know, grass or winter feed, but obviously things in Staffordshire must be different. I mean, we live right at the northern end of the county, right next to Cheshire whose cheese might be better known, but isn’t recognised by the EU – serves them right for giving grass to their cows. It’s a tad annoying – if we lived a mile down the road, the house would be worth 3 times as much and we’d pay less council tax.

Anyway, all this talk of food names has got me thinking of a new business idea; There’s an area of Stoke-on-Trent called Etruria. If I was well-armed, I could go into Stoke, rent a lock-up garage for a few weeks, take a few pigs and voila! Genuine Etruscan ham. 20% discount for blog-readers ordering a pound or more…..

Added: And of course, if someone was burning out a stolen car or two down by the canal (something that occurs much more often than one might think), I could offer “naturally smoked” as well…