According to the fact sheet given to me at the hospital outpatients department: whilst an endoscopy “is not painful, there may be some mild discomfort.”
Now, it might well be that I’m just a big girl (actually, that’s not true – if I was a big girl, insertion might have proved easier), but I would describe the sensation of having an 18 inch flexible steel dildo with lights, camera and grappling hook attachments shoved up your arse as something slightly more than mild discomfort.
In comparison, having the endoscope pushed down my throat to examine the stomach lining was really easy – I imagine that the muscle relaxants and sedatives I’d been given were really working by then. Even so, the drugs weren’t enough to keep one thought from repeating itself in my mind:
“I do hope they just washed that very thoroughly.”
Song playing as this was published: The Verve: The Drugs Don’t Work
“actually, that’s not true – if I was a big girl, insertion might have proved easier” now, why is that??? Especially when talking about an “18 inch flexible steel dildo with lights, camera and grappling hook attachments shoved up your arse”. Getting drugs for that instead of a: “Relax you might enjoy it” sounds pretty reasonable to me. But then again I had to made an arse earlier of myself when when asking the boys in the pub: so what is different about German porn (”we” had already touched the war and Liebfrauenmilch)? Hmmm, silence… Now being allowed as a “girl” to drink with the boys is one thing - questions like this another. Things used to be easier back in the days when we were all playing footie - discussions like that were usually resolved from my side with a hearty kick against the shin.
RhineBlaze: I must apologise, I have no knowledge that inserting “18 inch flexible stainless steel dildoes with lights, camera and grappling hook attachments” into big girls (in general) is any easier than into (say) my bottom. I also have a sneaking suspicion I will remain permanently ignorant of such matters. I have, however, gained a new sense of wonder about those people who turn up at hospitals with coke bottles and the like stuck inside themselves. Of course when I say “sense of wonder” I mean “WTF were they thinking?”
:( mildly discomforted greetings from Italy
Oh, I’m sorry for your troubles. (I once had my stomach looked at, too, and found it most unpleasant.) Thank you very much though for your SECOND card. It will be a long and lonely 2008 … Take care!
Liseuse: Good to see you again! I thought you’d given up reading. I know I’m obviously a little early to say “Buon Natale”? Probably - we don’t get to that until chapter 18 of Italian for Beginners - and it’s “decidely informal.”
Devon Boy’s Girl: Well, I’m not sure about yours, but I looked at Devon Boy’s stomach once and that really was most unpleasant….
Chyocolate Covered Bananas (the name of the blog I think) had a post about this a few years back.
“Things you don’t want to hear as the aneasthetic hits before your colonoscopy: “Are you sure this is the clean camera”"
Someone actually put it into a book and then sent you a copy of it…..
Tim: A book? Sent to me? The colonoscopy story sounds amusing, but some of the (ahem) mushier stuff was dreadful!
“Amusingly”, during the procedure (and none of this anaesthetic nonsense that chocolate bananas had, just a mild sedative) a nurse is obliged to watch the proceedings as a chaperone - in case anything which violates ones dignity occurs. I know it’s more for the endoscopist (sp?) than me, but even so…..
My German GP wanted to check my prostate a few years back. I had to refuse at the time, as I had had a rather hot curry the night before with lashings of beer and really didn’t think it was a good idea for him to be putting his fingers up my arse. We had to reschedule
They’ve been probing you top and bottom (so to speak)?
Hope it’s nothing serious.
yikes!!!!