When you’ve been in a long-term relationship that’s broken down and you’re starting a new one it’s important that you move on and put the old one behind you. That’s not always true when she lives just around the corner from you – the bitch almost ran me over a few weeks ago, so in […]
For Sale - surplus to requirements
Update: E-bay have removed the “offending” (oh how apt) article, a pdf of the page is here, though.
“They’re all very open and direct about sexual matters”
I was English, she was German. We were at the same Scottish university (me for the maximum sentence the law allows, her for a year abroad) and, despite four or five months of unsubtle hints, coy looks and dancing naked in front of her window, it took […]
You know the situation, I’m sure; you’ve known someone a while and are having the “pick a number” conversation, the number being “of previous partners”. There are, of course, many options for reply, all of them guaranteed to get you into some kind of trouble eventually:
1. “None. I’ve been saving myself for you darling.” Except […]
Or, “We’re all going to die. Why did I let the English guy drive the car?”
In case you’re not aware, gentle reader, in the UK and Ireland, we drive on the other side of the road to the Continentals and indeed, you North Americans (although the Irish are messing about with their road signs, just […]
….she said, before adding, “who knows, maybe we can work this out?”
I didn’t reply.
If by “work this out”, she meant that we could exchange the belongings we had in each other’s homes in a relatively civilised manner, continue to occasionally work on PR projects together and, apart from a few initial awkward moments, still go […]
The alternative choice for the title was “Out-cycling Mark Holland”, obviously that’s never going to happen in real life – I’m a runner who occasionally does triathlons, he’s a cyclist – I bet he even shaved his legs when he was competing. No, but today I thought I might be able to better his Tour […]
Yesterday evening I was (surprise) at a pub. Well okay, actually I was in the biergarten of said pub and was ostensibly there to take part in the pub quiz – it’s a regular Tuesday night experience, just as it’s a regular Tuesday night experience to finish second by one point and argue about that […]
Let’s get our facts straight here. Germans are, on the whole, incredibly kind and considerate drivers (stop laughing). And, it’s been documented using not-at-all-dubious standards that females make better drivers than men. They have a somewhat nasty habit of sleeping with their driving instructors when you’re in hospital (note to self – next time buy […]
I spent yesterday evening in the company of Black Forest Girl. Normally this would have been a pleasant experience, yesterday however, the air was filled with “All Englishmen are bastards!” well, that was what I said, she was far more polite and forgiving – although I was a little dismayed to notice she didn’t manage […]
