I had an ‘asthma review’ this morning. Despite having asthma since I was a baby, I’ve never had a review of it before so, as you can imagine, I was fabulously excited. The letter warning me that if I didn’t attend they’d no longer provide comprehensive medical care was almost unnecessary.
Alas, I was to be […]
The interview appears to be going well. Okay, as it’s with a woman and as my ability to tell what they’re really thinking is as close to non-existent as makes no difference, I can’t really be sure. But I think it’s going well. I trust I’ve managed to appear ‘confident, but not over-confident’. Of course, […]
Dear Mr. E.On,
Somewhere in England you own a subsidiary responsible for the supply of my electricity. I was wondering if it would be possible to upgrade my electricity supply to the modern, always-on, available-24-hours-per-day variant, which I keep reading about in the newspapers.
I am aware from the letters you frequently send that you are […]
I like my father. No, I really, really do. Mostly. We might disagree slightly about the existence of a higher being, an exact interpretation of Marxist theory and whether he really needs to leave any inheritance to both of his children, rather than just me, but we don’t have any major issues; I’m not one […]
I’m not sure if it’s a final, unconscious acceptance that I don’t live there any longer, or just that I don’t have the requisite motor abilities to type and drink coffee at the same time, but I’ve got rid of my German “QWERTZ” keyboard. Despite cleaning it in the dishwasher, it still didn’t work, […]
Remember how once I might, possibly, indirectly, have inadvertently given the impression that Virgin Railways were really, really great in comparison with Deutsche Bahn? Let me just clarify my position on that one….
Of all the rail companies in Britain, Virgin used to be the absolute worst. Calling them shit would have been insulting to […]
“I’m afraid I can’t accept that contract.”
Actually I said, “You’ve got to be fucking joking!” but I’m trying to give the impression that I conduct my business conversations with a sense of reserve and decorum.
“I’m not proof-reading anything that man has translated into English - it’s always gibberish, I can’t work out what it’s meant […]
Many of the stories on this blog involve events in my life going “ever so slightly” wrong. Things do, however, appear to be picking up. As I don’t want to induce too much jealousy within you I will quote only two examples:
Whilst lifting a heavy box I sliced open the […]
….has gotten the better of me and is telling me to sit at the computer and type. My thermometer on the other hand,
tells me that I’d be better off in bed, with the telephone number of a funeral director on speed dial. My rough and ready reckoning tells me that 41.3°C is 106.3°F in old […]
Public Notice. My brain will be closed for essential maintenance during the next few days, hence there’ll be no new posts during that time. Of course, there haven’t been that many posts for a while anyway and what has been written was, let’s face it, rubbish.
A few days rest and relaxation, that’s what my neurons […]
