The poor are tough and stringy….
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new entrant in the ‘most pathetic marketing blurb’ competition of 2008!
This one has the makings of a true winner and is going to prove hard to beat - not only because it’s from California, the home of the weird - but also that it has a swathe of strange, […]
It doesn’t matter if you have a photograph, never start a tale of the unusual (unless it’s about a girl) with those words. No one will ever believe you. They won’t believe you about the girl, either.
Also, if you talk to the police about alien abductions they’ll just tell you not to use unlicensed mini-cabs […]
… Is - at least I’ve been told - that it’s no longer just as simple as wondering whether one should erect a pine tree in the sitting room during December, to try and fit in…
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I blame Nigella “Pat the pork dry. Season the meat with kosher salt and pepper” Lawson myself…..
Photo downloaded from somewhere […]
Sounds better than ‘man-flu’ doesn’t it?
Song playing as this was published: Radio 4: Live Feed
“Hello, can I speak to Mr. Fact please?” The South African voice on the telephone asked.
It was half five in the afternoon – the start of telemarketeering time (it usually lasts until just after supper) – so I was just about to “go and fetch him,” put the phone to one side without hanging up […]
“You should get a job!” my conscience said.
“But I’m a self-employed slacker.” I replied.
“Ah, but why not get temporary work at an agency for the days when you don’t have any work?” my conscience and another self-employed slacker asked.
And so it was that I traipsed into town and gave my details to Temp. Employment Agency:
“Doctorate, […]
But only the really cheesy ones. Hmm. That doesn’t really narrow it down does it? How about the really cheesy (i.e. all) ones that were written whilst I was in Staffordshire? Yes, that will do it, as the EU now recognises Staffordshire cheese “due to the distinctive nature of the cows diet” amongst other things. […]
You’re all incredibly intelligent and well-read people of the world. I’m sure you’re aware of the (possibly apocryphal) story of the little packets of peanuts on American planes bearing the legend “May contain nuts”…. I don’t know for sure - I spent my flight to Duluth worrying how on earth I was going to manage […]
There was something about London last night that made me literally giddy; The lights, the people, the views, the way the buildings on the Southbank are lit in vivid colours…… but mostly it was the beer.
