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Archive for the 'Stupidity / FFS' Category

English As A Second Language (For Copywriters)

#16,873 of an ongoing series.
Look. If you’re a German firm and want a, how would you say? ‘Cool’ English tagline to go under your company name, get a native speaker (who isn’t evil) to at least look at it. And not after it’s been printed over all your trucks. Yes, you’ve used different typeface strengths […]

Only Successful Candidates Will Be Contacted….

The interview appears to be going well. Okay, as it’s with a woman and as my ability to tell what they’re really thinking is as close to non-existent as makes no difference, I can’t really be sure. But I think it’s going well. I trust I’ve managed to appear ‘confident, but not over-confident’. Of course, […]

Dear Local Newspaper,

I blame Channel 4. Well, I blame mid-80s Channel 4 with its remit to provide minority programming specifically designed to cause Mary Whitehouse’s head to explode. We couldn’t get Channel 4 at my house, but my best friend Matthew on the other side of the valley could and I’d often cycle over there and […]

A Glimpse Into The Future…

In the future, BBC news online won’t put stories like this at the head of their “science” section. And, although the future for humans might sound attractive:
“..in the nearer future, humans will evolve in 1,000 years…women will develop lighter, smooth, hairless skin, large clear eyes, pert breasts, glossy hair, and even features. Racial differences will […]

Mum, Dad. I’ve Got Something To Tell You…

It should probably have appeared in the Outbox of my e-mail program though…..

Dot, get a different username, or do you find the greeting that other people receive amusing?
Song playing as this was published: The Smiths - “How Soon Is Now?”

German Words We Use In English: Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude: The feeling experienced after having spent years listening to your mother explain that ‘you drive like a maniac’, ‘you’re awfully close to the car in front’, ‘you’re not on the Autobahn now, you know?’ etc. etc. of getting to hear her describe how she’s driven her car into a wall because: “I wanted to […]