Whilst checking the Met Office web site to check the weather (none of this consulting a thermometer and looking out of the window for me in this high-tech modern world), I couldn’t help notice that they’d issued a severe weather warning for London and the South East tomorrow. Actually, I checked the Met Office website […]
“You should get a job!” my conscience said.
“But I’m a self-employed slacker.” I replied.
“Ah, but why not get temporary work at an agency for the days when you don’t have any work?” my conscience and another self-employed slacker asked.
And so it was that I traipsed into town and gave my details to Temp. Employment Agency:
“Doctorate, […]
Now, I know that Mr. Haddock has pretty much of a monopoly on the Female German Football Team Scene, but a World Cup match between England and Germany has to be worth a mention, even if it is “only girls.”
Now proud Englishman that I am, I’ve obviously stuck a fiver on ze Tjermans to win, […]
When Ze Tjermans start to openly mock the rampant, box-ticking mentality and bureaucratic stupidity of your country on their main television news programme, it really is time to wonder if NuLabour’s touchy-feely infantilisation programme hasn’t gone a little bit too far.
What, you want a proper translation of the story as well? But I’m ‘working’! […]
You are I am sure, aware that one is meant to put something on a c.v. that provides a little background of your “other interests” (the ones you want potential employers to know about, that is)? After all, all work and very, very average grades, makes InActualFact a dull boy. Therefore, somewhere in the mess […]
Britain’s Railways: I thought I knew what they’re like. In a land where no money is spent on the national infrastructure, where everything is incredulously expensive and yet of poor quality, the trains definitely don’t run on time and consuming the over-priced sandwiches available on board is meant to be as near to suicidal as […]
Both Squander Two and the Devil have been discussing the joyous experience that is being English and living in Scotland. Squander Two gets the bizarre dichotomy of living in fear of physical attack for being English and loving the country for its people just about spot on. And, despite the recently publicised stories being pretty […]
Is From Spiegel Online (in German). It tells of two England football fans who drove to Cologne and then went for a bit of a look around the town.
At the end of their wander they couldn’t actually find the street in which they’d parked their car. However, these two individuals were intelligent, well-prepared, and […]
(Agency) Mild controversy was raging at the editorial office of inactualfact last night after the department for lentil-eating, sandals and socialism called for the English flag to be banned from the website’s pages because, “of its strong links to right-wing extremism.”
“Nonsense”, the English Affairs spokesman is reported to have said, “whilst we’re proud to fly […]
I am, it would appear, a wanker.
This is not an act of confession by a man finally admitting why his eyesight has deteriorated from pre-pubescent perfect vision to its current state of short-sightedness (that is exactly what happened, but it’s purely freak coincidence), but passing on the wisdom of others to you. Bizarrely, no […]
