For reasons beyond my ability to comprehend (so not that far), a kind and generous reader of this blog, who is surely handsome, witty, intelligent, caring and woefully ignored by the scientific publishing world, decided to send me a Christmas present.
Of course, I protested vigorously that it was entirely unnecessary; “No, no you really mustn’t, this is my postal address, use priority mail to get it here for Christmas. No, really, I couldn’t possibly accept.”
Now, I know that he sent something because on Monday a piece of paper turned up in my mailbox – the “Sender’s Custom Declaration Form CN 22” (you know, that form one has to fill out when sending articles abroad), which clearly stated my name and address, that of the sender, that it was posted in the U.S. on Dec 2nd and “this copy will be retained at the post office for 30 days.” Hmmm.
I was overjoyed. I’d received a piece of an official United States Postal Service form. However, over time it dawned on me that there might be more to it; there was the distant possibility that this piece of paper might have been attached to some kind of package – that there was even more to come! I headed off to my local post office to see if they had a parcel for me.
I’m not going to detail all the conversations I had over the course of yesterday, but the post office “couldn’t possibly have it – it’s probably at customs in Böblingen. No we don’t have their contact details.” After calling the customs office in Böblingen and spending a quarter of an hour explaining and cajoling I found out that “this office isn’t responsible for your postal code, your customs office is at the Hafen.” Naturally I rang the office at the Hafen and after explaining the story again, was asked by the polite, friendly, service-oriented individual working there, “I’ve got over twenty parcels here, do you really want me to check them all?” before she hung up.
Now, although I’m not really happy here, this isn’t of itself reason to leave the country. No really, it isn’t. The fact that I’ll be on an 18:30 flight to England this evening is mere coincidence. And they’d better be friendly and cooperative when I get there.
Update: It came! When I explained the story to the guy from DHL, he just laughed and said “Typisch Deutsch!” As for where it is now, well, that’s for the next post.
Song playing as this was published: Wir Sind Helden – “Guten Tag (Reklamation)”
A shy, retiring recluse with the overwhelming desire to tell the world all about himself....
Woohoo!! England must be glad to have you back.. as I am sure you are to be back in England! Enjoy!
PS: Err…. what do we do with this blog then? Does it change to “Inactualfact, England is not what I expected at all?”
Whatever: Don’t tell anyone, but I’m coming back on January 1st (at least for a while). In the two weeks inbetween I’m going to moan about England and Scotland and London (yes, it’s a different country than England) and Paris….
Have a safe flight, and an enjoyable Christmas!
i don’t envy you the postal experience, but i sure wish i can get out of this country for a while, too… *sigh*
have fun-filled holidays in england!
Would “for a while” encompase March by any chance?
Is the plane piloted by Bomber Harris by any chance
I myself shall be returning to England next week. I’m not flying, I’ll be using the Dunkirk evacuation route instead
US customs once stole my mum’s christmas present to me. Bastards.
And I once had a traumatic moment when the train tickets for a weekend away were delivered by La Poste after my train had left…
Luckily the person I was supposed to be visiting was feeling gallant and wealthy and hopped on the overnight train to Paris to make sure we didn’t miss our weekend together.
Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll get the parcel by next Christmas at the latest.
EJ.
Didn’t he ruin his back in doing so as well?
Nothing to do with anything you just typed:
look what I found (just in case you come back
http://www.foodfromhome.de/index.php?section=2&subsection=10&product_id=1528
Arriving in Britain by plane is always so anticlimactic. I think that all travellers to the UK should be forced to arrive by tumbril, or tied across the back of a horse, or something.
leon: You’re right of course. Getting off a bus at Victoria Coach Station is infinitely more exciting and as for driving off the ferry at Harwich, well, it was far too much for me to cope with.
Actually, after one particularly, erm, “memorable” flight with the now happily defunct Sabena Airlines which had all the prospects of a particularly climatic arrival in the North Sea or in some kind of fireball-type excitement whilst making an emergency landing at Amsterdam Schiphol, I’m quite happy with anticlimatic airborne arrivals. Although I’m happy to report that Manchester Airport managed to put on a little something for me, just to make me feel special….