In Actual Fact

One of the most irritating things about London is the Underground. While I can’t deny that London does indeed come to a stand still every single time they go on strike, there are just so many things about the service they provide, and trains in general actually, lets not leave National Rail out of this, which stretch far beyond irritation.

Like the fact they’ve put the fares up (again!) and the quality of service is exactly the same as it was before. There are still unnecessary delays. I think everyone can agree that we’d rather not have to bother with the Underground. That we could just curl up with our iPad and play games on partypoker or Farmville, or even read a book on the Kindle in bed. Anything to get away from the incessant irritation of train service. Sadly the buses are just as infuriating, so which is the lesser of two evils?

Here’s a couple of annoyances:

Please mind the gap. What gap? The train tends to fill the entire rail area, and the amusing thing is at the stations where there is a gap, they forget to warn you! They don’t need to warn you of non-existent gaps at Waterloo, but if you go to Baker Street you have to jump. Do they warn you? Nope.

Signal failures. When your train is literally next to Point B and can’t proceed due to a signal failure, and then you are reversed all the way back to Point A 20 minutes later, you get pretty ticked off. Not to mention the delay it causes.

Amusing things do happen on the underground too though. Like when your driver is clearly bored out of his mind, and decides having a one way chat with the passengers is a good way to pass the time. Or when everyone has a moment of shared incredulity aimed at the teenager blaring their awful music from their phone.

Don’t give me that it’s “Bellenden Village” Malarkey - it’s Peckham. There’s a burnt out bus at the end of the road. House prices have fallen……

…is being allowed to stay up long enough to watch Blackadder or Miami Vice, despite them being ‘vapid’. Or (legally) drive. Or drink alcohol. Or the fact that the woman who just did that to you, wasn’t actually breaking the law. And paying taxes, obviously (although I don’t think she actually did in that particular case, I just meant in general).

The negatives only really become apparent when one receives phone calls at 1 a.m. involving rushing to hospital and being issued with the Responsibility Card. At least I got my “Putting A Brave Face On It” and “Lack Of Respect For The Opinion Of Medics, Especially Surgeons” badges when I was in the Cubs. Also, he was sent home from hospital today, 10 days later, with a clean(ish) bill of health, so I can actually mention it now.

I’m incredibly lucky to have someone working at the forefront of British business in my life, and as part of a new series, have decided to share some of her words of wisdom vis-a-vis maths, money, business and the economy

“I have a thousand pounds in shares….But they’re only worth 600 at the moment….”

When we go shopping together, I count the change.

Song playing as this was published: Nine Inch Nails : Closer

Blatantly nicked from Mohsin’s Facebook page, not sure of its veracity (it is in Foreign Policy, after all), but this did make me titter.

The poor are tough and stringy….

Probably….

Added: OK, last week of blogging silence. Probably.

Added: OK, last 7 weeks of blogging silence. Probably…….

This year “Blue Monday” - a date in January regarded as the most depressing day of the year - falls on 19 January. I’m sure that I heard John Humphrys on the Today programme this morning say 40% of workers would call in sick today. That can’t be right, surely? He wasn’t on very good form at all though: when interviewing George Osborne about Ken Clarke’s return to the front benches, he didn’t even paraphrase Jeremy Paxman’s classic question to Norman Lamont after black Wednesday into “Do you like being Shadow Chancellor? Are you going to miss it?”

Anyway, I feel fine today. Right as rain. Like the rain that’s been falling endlessly from the sky for months - as endless as the credit card bills arriving through the door, each one more ghastly than the last. I did manage to get a bargain price on some rope to string across one of the beams in the attic - so every thing’s peachy.

Song playing as this was published:New Order : Crystal

Whilst checking the Met Office web site to check the weather (none of this consulting a thermometer and looking out of the window for me in this high-tech modern world), I couldn’t help notice that they’d issued a severe weather warning for London and the South East tomorrow. Actually, I checked the Met Office website to look at their radar picture to see if the snow was going to stop soonish, or should just go running in it anyway, but wear my slightly longer shorts because I’m Northern and ‘ard.

Anyway, where were we. Ah yes, the severe weather that’s going to be battering the South East tomorrow:

There is a moderate risk of a severe weather event affecting southeastern parts of England. Rain and sleet will turn to snow as it moves southwestwards across southeastern England during the early hours of Monday and through Monday morning. This will lead to the formation of widespread ice on roads and pavements. There will be accumulations of a centimetre of snow in places on the lower ground and a couple of centimetres over the hills.

Issued at: 1011 Sun 4 Jan

Obviously a whole centimetre of snow (maybe) wouldn’t bother me because I’d be safely underground at t’pit, carefully balancing chips on my shoulder…..

Song playing as this was published: The Wannadies : You And Me Song