Blogger & Weightwatchers Resolution Reminder…

Posted on Thursday 1 January 2009

Made a New Year’s resolution? Of course not, you’re all completely perfect already. Admittedly, I did acquire a new pair of running shoes in the sales and I’ve taken special care to walk through ankle deep mud in them, just so no one would think they were brand spanking new when I went for a run this morning as part of the new regime.
Blogger, on the other hand has obviously teamed up with Weight Watchers for the day and is coming up with word verifications like this:

Time for another pie for me….

Mr. Fact @ 4:38 pm
Filed under: Misc.
Happy 2009!

Posted on Thursday 1 January 2009

Now, I know none of you have commented on the last 100 posts of mine. What, your RSS reader wasn’t working? You say you can’t see anything here that I’ve written since August, either? Well despite the obvious shortcomings of the browser you’re reading my blog with, I’m still going to wish you all a healthy, happy and prosperous - especially prosperous, because the way things are looking and unless you’re particularly prone to health and happiness problems, that seems to be the biggie - 2009.

Addendum. Smugness is: being the designated driver on New Year’s Eve, being stopped by the police driving down country lanes, avoiding the main road at 1 a.m. winding the window down and having them wish you a Happy New Year, because you’re patently not even worth breathalysing with so many other targets about.

Mr. Fact @ 1:45 am
Filed under: Misc.
There’s A Word For This Kind Of Advertising

Posted on Tuesday 19 August 2008

The ad agency probably went with “knowing” or else one of the sick masochists actually believes this.

Okay, okay, they might have a point with the words “…will be crammed full…” I suppose.

Mr. Fact @ 5:04 pm
Filed under: Misc. and Day 2 Day
Vergangenheitsbewältigung

Posted on Saturday 12 July 2008

Now. I’m not going to go so far as to say that I *like* the place, but after returning to Munich for the first time in five years I’m prepared to grudgingly admit that it’s (adopts voice of sullen teenager) “okay”*.

*On warm summer evenings. Whilst sitting in a beergarden. Drinking a beer. That someone else has paid for.

Mr. Fact @ 8:19 am
Filed under: Bitterness
Spot The Deliberate National Stereotype Error

Posted on Wednesday 4 June 2008

….Flights to Germany cancelled because Lufthansa pilots have gone on strike, but travel by French railway quick, easy and efficient - although still with a slight Gallic charm:

When being served lunch “Bière?” - places can of Kronenbourg on table.
“No thanks, I’m hiring a car when I get off the train.”
“Ah, of course.” And replaces the can of beer with a bottle of red wine.

Mr. Fact @ 8:16 am
Filed under: Misc.
Why Oh Why Didn’t I Do Media Studies?

Posted on Thursday 15 May 2008

Whilst wondering how to find a job which pays enough to earn my passage away from these shores, I keep coming across job adverts which make those “earn ?500 a week or more driving a bus” stickers on the sides of big red vehicles sound very attractive:

For example:

“A highly motivated applicant is required for the Uro-oncology group. This post will involve novel research into tumour markers that may be used to predict disease behaviour in clinical prostate cancer.

Techniques that will be used include laser capture micro-dissection, microscopy, RNA extraction and amplification and real time PCR. A good understanding of molecular biology and laboratory techniques is essential. Prior experience in bench molecular biology and/or use of micro-dissection and microscopy is highly desirable.”

“Laser capture micro-dissection?” That all sounds very high-tech. No wonder the starting salary is ?16,684 pa.


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Mr. Fact @ 3:12 pm
Filed under: Bitterness
For Each A Road

Posted on Friday 9 May 2008

There really is nothing like driving along the M74 somewhere vaguely near Lockerbie at 2 am and having the fuel distributor computer decide it’s going to shut off the engine. Especially if there’s a car 18 inches behind you doing 100 (or so) mph (not that I’d ever drive 30 mph above the speed limit just to compete with some arse in a souped-up Renault Clio…. No sir.

Mr. Fact @ 3:03 am
Filed under: Day 2 Day and Girls, Cars, Sport...
In An Era Of 24/7 Global Communications….

Posted on Saturday 29 March 2008

….Remember to turn your mobile phone off at night, or you’ll be woken by a text message offering you 900 Rupees per month off your phone bill at 4:30 in the morning.

That is all. I’m going back to bed now to catch up on sleep.

Mr. Fact @ 4:52 am
Filed under: Whinge, Whinge, Whinge....
Per ardua ad astra

Posted on Wednesday 12 March 2008

Blatantly pulled from the boing boing feed, the new USAF motto: “Über alles” - okay, they have a point and the F22 is very, very nice. But there should be a slogan-maker looking for a new job, oder?

Mr. Fact @ 11:21 pm
Filed under: Septics
Other 30% Not Carbon-Based…

Posted on Friday 7 March 2008

girl shampooLadies and gentlemen, we have a new entrant in the ‘most pathetic marketing blurb’ competition of 2008!

This one has the makings of a true winner and is going to prove hard to beat - not only because it’s from California, the home of the weird - but also that it has a swathe of strange, but somehow exotically European vowels in the company name: Jāsön - not quite up there with Häagen-Dazs, but not really quite as tasty, either, despite the promise of rosewater goodness.

Of course, the way that the word “organic” is used to market products, one could almost think that anthing “non-organic” i.e. 30% of the contents of this shampoo, was evil, toxic filth. Thank goodness they probably just mean H20, the shampoo’s largest single constituent ingredient.

Song playing as this was published: Goldfrapp : Little Bird

Mr. Fact @ 1:50 pm
Filed under: Stupidity / FFS